Budget

We  are *almost* owners of an acre of land in North Pole, AK so we can build this.  We just need to sign and return the paperwork.  Then it's done.  Final. 

 No refunds, no exchanges, no returns. 

Now what?  we've been asking ourselves.  Now it's the time to realize we have something big to accomplish and we need to face the facts:  we need to cut back on spending.  Sound like you're tuning into a news program about the government? 

Before coming to law school we were good about keeping a budget.  It worked like a charm and we stuck to it.  We made a chart, sort of like a punch card, and hung it up on the fridge.  Here's an example:

Each variable expense goes up with a set dollar amount.  Then below, in the "punch card" area, is the exact amount divided between $1, $5, $10, and $20 cells.  As we make a purchase, we take the receipt up to the chart and mark off what we've spent as we're usually not paying with cash.  We would usually round up to the next dollar amount (so a $7 purchase became a crossed off $10).

There were a few times where we only had $5 to spend in groceries and a week left of that month.  We made due with what we had.  So now, we're back in the game.  We looked at the last 3 months' spending average for each category and cut it by at least 25-50%. 

I believe we're not in an economic downturn, but that this may be the new economy for the next 10-20 years*.  Our time to be frugal and realistic is now.  And having a family budget is our step towards being more self-sufficient.
How do you set up your budget?

*The Fourth Turning by Strauss & Howe

A Breakthrough

Remember we're working on some new rules around here, right? Rule #4: read two pages from the Book of Mormon (BoM) daily, as a family. In the past, we've never had a reading schedule. We'd read here and there, time permitting. If the kids were late getting to bed, scriptures would have been skipped for the day. We used to read from the Bible and then back to the BoM, back and forth with no rhyme or reason.

One way to prevent all of this vascillation was to have this black and white rule.

2 pages per day, whether the kids are mutinous before bedtime or half-asleep,

we have stuck to it.

Today is the 25th of January and we've read our 50 pages so far.

I'm impressed.

And proof that we've actually started a good habit was discovered in speaking with Madeline on Sunday...

I was filling out her "spotlight" form (each Sunday a child has things read about them in primary and the rest of the kids guess who it is) and she answered what her least favorite food was (chili), what she likes to do in the summertime (have picnics), what she wants to be when she grows up (an ice skater), and the like.

I then asked her "The best thing about my family is..." and after pondering for a moment, she replied:

"Reading scriptures before bedtime."

Out of all the things that we do together, scripture reading is it!

Again, I'm impressed.

It's not going to the zoo or playgrounds or driving thousands of miles to see the sights or having birthday parties or opening Christmas gifts or eating a special treat at Dairy Queen or any other temporal, tangible thing...

They are happy to be nourished by the Spirit.

Digging Deeper

Jeremy and I have made some new "O'Neil Rules" at the beginning of the month. Rules just for me and him to work on. Rules that will improve the spirit in our home and bring our little family more peace and joy.

We've had the discussion of finding your true self VS. changing into someone better. Does one really "change" or merely come to find their "true self"?

So we are changing behavior to find our true selves. It's about time, isn't it?

I want to share our new rules with you.

First, here are the three major reasons why we set out to improve ourselves:

And now on to our rules:

1. No yelling. I grew up in a loud home and have always just blamed my loudness on my upbringing. That is not who I truly am.

2. No sarcasm. It is the easiest, but lowest form of wit. We're funny people (we think), but don't need to make a joke at the others' expense.

3. No backbiting. I love the quote "...let your words tend to edifying one another." In this inspired exercise, Jeremy and I have chosen examples of men and women that we want to be more like, ones who never speak an ill word, who speak of uplifting things.

I know it can be done.

4. Read 2 pages of the Book of Mormon as a family per day. The kids may not always sit still or be perfectly silent, but we are still doing it. We have learned to be flexible with the time of day this happens - at a meal or before bed, it happens.

5. Have 15 minutes of personal scripture study per day. Boyd K. Packer (a latter-day apostle) has said that, "Studying the doctrines of the gospel changes behavior more quickly than a study of behavior changes behavior." We need to be regularly immersed in a study of the scriptures. Who is the greatest example we can read about and follow? Our Savior, Jesus Christ.

We have set up a reward system too: a bean jar.

We get 3 strikes a day (since we don't expect perfectness to come immediately) for 30 days.

So we have a jar of 90 beans for the both of us to share (we're a team in this) and if we have beans left in our jar by the end of the month, we get a reward. Then we continue again...

As a side note: we are more conscious of our behavior and want to change for the above pictured reasons, not for our special treat (a ceramics day for Dahlia and a tie for Jeremy).

And how are we more conscious do you ask? We pray for help.

For me, help comes as little whispers and feelings to remember my resolve to do better, to be better.

I then remember that my family is precious and divine and they should be treated as such.

I then remember that we all have faults and that I am not to judge.

And then I don't yell, or speak ill, or whatever it is that I should stop doing.

Daily personal and family prayer is an integral part in becoming our true selves.

And you know what?

We can already see and feel the true rewards.

Identity Crisis Solved

I've been pondering this blog lately, asking myself questions as to why it exists - to what end? I've used it to keep our far away family updated with recent photos and stories of our children. I've used it to voice my opinion on things. I've used it to brag. I've used it to vent. I've used it to showcase things. I've used it as a journal.


I have found it a difficult medium to have a dialogue. I don't keep up with it enough for it to be an effective journal. And really, I'm not even sure who my entire audience is. It's time for me to finally give this blog it's real identity, to let it BE it's identity.



Here's it's story:


I started this blog a few years back and gave it the title of "Dreamers and Doers". In 2003, a celebration was held in downtown Fairbanks, Alaska by the Chena River. It was where E.T. Barnett had landed 100 years prior and started a trading post. Shortly thereafter, gold was discovered by Felix Pedro and Fairbanks soon became the largest log cabin town in the world. You can read more HERE. The above mentioned celebration was to reveal Barnett's Landing Beautification Project that commemorated E.T. Barnett's landing a century ago. It was a dream made into a reality and on that lovely new riverwalk stood a plaque. It was full of names, lots and lots of names. The plaque was titled "Dreamers and Doers of the New Frontier". On it were Jeremy's family's names from his Alaskan aviator grandfather and mother, to his brother and his then soon-to-be wife, and then Jeremy's and mine.



I was honored to be mentioned along with all of these hearty Alaskans. Now if you had a generous mother-in-law who paid a fee, you could have your name engraved as well...but nonetheless, I saw it as a call to action. I've done plenty of dreaming, now it's time to start doing!

I have been dreaming of homeschooling for years now, and I want to share how I will do it. I have been dreaming of how I can be a wiser steward, and have a more self-reliant family and I want to share my discoveries. I have dreamed of having a loving, giving family and I will share our trials and triumphs.

So welcome again, to Dreamers and Doers!

Happy New Year!

We had a wonderful Christmas and New Year! The girls just loved their presents...and they had plenty to open. I think next year we'll get them 3 gifts each (symbolic of the 3 gifts Jesus received from the Wise Men) and they can donate some of their current toys to a family in need. Yeah, so they'll be almost 2 and 4, but I think it'd be a good start on giving service as a Christmas tradition. So when they are older, hopefully they'll think of others first. I've included some photos of the girls in the outfits that Grandma Barbara got them. The second is a total candid photo I took - Madeline was crying because she didn't want to get her picture taken anymore, and Abbie looks on as if to say "it's ok, don't cry sister." It's precious - and it is so Abbie - she's such a lover. We visited Grandma Dee at Chena Hot Springs (she's the pilot at the resort) on New Year's Day and got some swimming in. We all had a great time - Madeline even got brave and put on a life jacket and swam around us without help! I think 2008 is going to be a fun, exciting, and definitely new year :)