Digging Deeper

Jeremy and I have made some new "O'Neil Rules" at the beginning of the month. Rules just for me and him to work on. Rules that will improve the spirit in our home and bring our little family more peace and joy.

We've had the discussion of finding your true self VS. changing into someone better. Does one really "change" or merely come to find their "true self"?

So we are changing behavior to find our true selves. It's about time, isn't it?

I want to share our new rules with you.

First, here are the three major reasons why we set out to improve ourselves:

And now on to our rules:

1. No yelling. I grew up in a loud home and have always just blamed my loudness on my upbringing. That is not who I truly am.

2. No sarcasm. It is the easiest, but lowest form of wit. We're funny people (we think), but don't need to make a joke at the others' expense.

3. No backbiting. I love the quote "...let your words tend to edifying one another." In this inspired exercise, Jeremy and I have chosen examples of men and women that we want to be more like, ones who never speak an ill word, who speak of uplifting things.

I know it can be done.

4. Read 2 pages of the Book of Mormon as a family per day. The kids may not always sit still or be perfectly silent, but we are still doing it. We have learned to be flexible with the time of day this happens - at a meal or before bed, it happens.

5. Have 15 minutes of personal scripture study per day. Boyd K. Packer (a latter-day apostle) has said that, "Studying the doctrines of the gospel changes behavior more quickly than a study of behavior changes behavior." We need to be regularly immersed in a study of the scriptures. Who is the greatest example we can read about and follow? Our Savior, Jesus Christ.

We have set up a reward system too: a bean jar.

We get 3 strikes a day (since we don't expect perfectness to come immediately) for 30 days.

So we have a jar of 90 beans for the both of us to share (we're a team in this) and if we have beans left in our jar by the end of the month, we get a reward. Then we continue again...

As a side note: we are more conscious of our behavior and want to change for the above pictured reasons, not for our special treat (a ceramics day for Dahlia and a tie for Jeremy).

And how are we more conscious do you ask? We pray for help.

For me, help comes as little whispers and feelings to remember my resolve to do better, to be better.

I then remember that my family is precious and divine and they should be treated as such.

I then remember that we all have faults and that I am not to judge.

And then I don't yell, or speak ill, or whatever it is that I should stop doing.

Daily personal and family prayer is an integral part in becoming our true selves.

And you know what?

We can already see and feel the true rewards.